loosing yourself -- finding yourself

sometimes we find ourselves slowly drifting away from what we are. this could be because of a person, an activity, or just where you are in life. 

recently, i've been feeling like i'm drifting. i don't know if it's because i haven't had a moment to breathe, or because i now have someone else in my life now. or maybe its because this is my second year in this city and everything isn't brand new and exciting to me anymore. 

i don't know what it is, but i feel like i am drifting and that i am a little lost. not completely, but i can see it coming in the future and that scares me. 

this is my way of keep myself true to me and who i am. 

i am the girl who loves to write. who needs to write just to keep her thoughts straight sometimes. 

i am the girl who has random urges to paint and get messy because i have some sort of feeling inside of me that can't be described with words. 

i am the girl who needs some sort of artistic expression to survive in general. 

i am the girl who utterly misses her family and when things were easy. 

i am the girl who just wants to succeed in life and not lose myself like i (sort of) did this time last year. 

i am the girl who is trying her hardest at everything. but sometimes trying your hardest makes you forget about yourself and your wants and needs because you become consumed by everything else around you. i'm trying not to let that happen. 

this is my way of staying close to my heart and who i am. i need this therapy that is writing. 

As you may be able to tell, a lot has happened in my life since my last post. I've gained two jobs, a boyfriend, lost 5 pounds, and average about 6 hours of sleep a night. It's not easy and the Sophomore Slump is real. But, I think the slump is actually just the slap in the face from reality we all get at this stage in our life and it's not easy. But, I'm trying to make it all happen and slowly succeeding. 

Part of my wishes there was a bigger online community of student bloggers that I could talk to and share these feelings with. Who knows? Maybe I'll start one myself; if there's time that is. ;)


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